:: Saturday, January 31, 2004 ::
Man alive, I am really blessed. I have a job, a great family, a caring family, caring friends, a caring God, salvation, hope, love, and Miss Anne. I haven't seen her in just a few hours, but I miss her. I want to hold her and rub her back and let her fall asleep in my arms. She did last night and it was super. She just laid in my arms, sleeping. It was so perfect. God is good.
I mean, honestly, without God, we never would have gotten together. There is no way. He is the root of our relationship. He's been there the longets and always will be. I can't wait to see what he will bring us tomorrow. Or the next day, or for the rest of our lives.
Last night Miss Anne and I went to the basketball game at MHS. The girls won, but while they were playing, she and I were talking about all kinds of things, and suddenly Miss Anne goes, "It would be so cool if we got married." And then we talked about us getting married for a long time. Now, normally, for most teenage relationships, this isn't a big thing, but we're most definately not normal. We just haven't talked about getting married. And then here we were, talking about getting married and having 8 children and where we would live and how she would tell her students about stupid stuff I did around the house. It was so fun. We just don't really talk about getting married, but we both hope that we will. It was comforting to get to talk to her last night. We're weird, I know. But its okay. God says so.
Our relationship just keeps getting better every day. Each day is a new step for us it seems. We don't really get into a rut or anything, or into any kind of routine. Its always new, and I like that. Just today before I went to to work we hung out for awhile, walked around the mall and talked a lot. Drove around for awhile and talked. It was so fun. We just held hands and walked and talked. Then we came to my house, goofed around a bit and then I went to work. But I sent her a text message saying "Eye heart sheep" and she was so caught up that she called me back to tell me that she hearts sheep. And then just now, she called to tell me goodnight. I mean, we are high school sweethearts, and I'm enjoying every minute of it. I hope God has us together long time from now, but you never know. I just have to remind myself that either way God is in control and he loves me and wants me to be happy. So if I'm this ecstatic about the girl God doesn't have in mind for me, how much more happier will I be with the girl he does! And if Miss Anne is the gal for me, then how much more better will our relationship always get!!! I get so excited when I think about God and our relationship.
I know as a teenager I don't know much, but I do have 18 years of experience and I would say that there are two things that people need in their relationships, friends or more. You gotta have God. You gotta trust and believe. And rely. And just don't worry about asking for help from him. He wants to hear you say that you rely on God and you put your eggs in his basket. The other thing that I think all people need is communication. Miss Anne and I talk. All the time. About stupid stuff or serious stuff, either way we talk. All the craziness helps us get out the serious things. I love Anne so much and she knows it, but the cool thing is that I don't have to TELL her, she just knows. And I know she loves me, but she doesn't constantly TELL me. Its the way we act, the way we communicate. But what do I know?
Can you tell I'm super happy right now? About God and his goodness and his blessing of Anne to me. Very exciting. But I do have a bad night inside. Work wasn't so kosher today, but I don't care. I'm home, I'm safe here. Nothing can get to me. God is with me and he cares for me. He holds me tight and lets me know that he has a plan for me. Just trust.
God is good. All the time.
:: Ben 11:13 PM [+] ::