:: Sunday, November 21, 2004 ::
Yeah, I am so not up for going to bed. I just finished the last post like, I don't know, five minutes ago and here I am typing again. I need sleep, by golly. I have to be up early in the morning. I have to run my three miles. I have to eat. I have to do probably a billion other things that I keep forgetting and keep piling up and will until our wedding day when it will be too late to call the preacher!!!
I haven't called our old pastor, Bro. Danny yet to see if he'll officiate our wedding. Why not? Good question. Why haven't we sent out invitations, why is there a hundred people coming in the first place? Why can't Anne and I just stick to our originial plan and elope?
A week before I had to leave for the Army, we were going to elope. Had it all planned out and everything, like us crazy teenagers always do. Anne just had one person she wanted to consult first and that was her sister Amy. If Amy said yes, then we were going to do it. So Anne asked Amy one and day, and Amy was surprisingly just as excited and for it as we were. I didn't expect that.
And so I sit her unmarried.
We didn't go through with it. Probably the best idea. I was leaving in a week, would be gone for five months, its ELOPING!!! I still actually, think its a good idea. I just want to be married. Why go through all the craziness of a wedding? Okay, that may have sounded wrong. Anne and I wanted a very small, family only wedding. We made up an approximate guest list the other day and there were around 125 people, and that wasn't really everyone. Oh my goodness.
There's goes small. I want a big wedding in some ways and in other ways I just want a quaint, little wedding. Just family and like Rick and Godman. Plus Anne's close friends. But then of course there's the close family friends that are like family and you don't want to hurt someone's feelings by not inviting them and all that craziness. People in the church that have seen us grow up all these years and consider us their children. Just too many people.
Is eloping all that bad?
Is it running away from your problems? I personally don't think so. Getting married is not a problem. Definately not. A billion people is not a problem. Just a nuisance. We have to have a wedding though. We have a flower arrangements and Anne has all the dresses ready. So the show must go on.
Of course, we could do it like Jimmy and Cheryl did, along with Grandma and Dwight did. Get married and then have the party later... Not so much. I'm just not up for that idea. I don't know why. We can wait 26 more days. Its just seriously a big worry I guess I have on my mind that not everything will turn out perfect, something will go wrong, or something will happen. Plus its in just under a month and there's still a bit left to do. And we're broke.
Crazy teenagers, I know. Always broke. You know how that goes.
Well, we're not broke. Just right now we are. This minute. Tomorrow I start my job, which I plan on working at for quite a while. The original plan was for me to quit when I started college, but I think I'm going to do college at night and work with the recruiter during the day. Sounds like a lot, considering I also want to be a youth minister, and I have to...no, I want to... make some time as a husband. I'm sure Anne will appreciate that.
And then I'll be getting my bonus dispersement. Now, if you ask Tiff, she thinks that we're living totally off this disbursement and such since we're going to use it to pay for a wedding and an apartment to start off with. Not the case. We're just going to use it to get off our feet. Or on our feet. You get my point. Get started. Mom wants to pay for the wedding. Great, except I feel guilty asking for money from them. Yeah, the parents are supposed to pay for the wedding, but I just don't like that idea. We're supposed to be growing up and become adults. Then why is my mom paying for all this?
I mean, I worked hard for that money and I want to spend on making Annikins just absolutely happy and that will be throwing a gorgeous candlelit wedding. So be it. Am I crazy? No. You may be thinking I'm turning down free money, but to me it just seems that we're adults and we should pay for it. Maybe that's just me. Anne feels sorta the same way.
Of course, I don't want to live on whether or not my check comes in. That's just not very cool. I want the money now so we can start buying things.
Oh my goodness, all the craziness.
It's 2300. I have to be up early in the morning for this job. Sorry, cyberworld, but I'm cutting this one short. Goodnight.
God is good.
:: Ben 11:10 PM [+] ::