:: Thursday, December 09, 2004 ::
Panic mode: on
I'm going to be married in nine days. Maybe. Well, that's if I get paid for this dumb recruiting job that I really don't like very much. Or if I get paid my bonus that I earned and deserve. Or if my unit pays me the forty some odd dollars that they owe me for my last drill. Man this sounds so ghetto. I hate saying that I am waiting on a paycheck. I guess I just always imagined that when I got married, I would have a steady paying job and wouldn't have to worry about money. So much for that.
Of course, Anne wanted to be out of high school first and started in college. Then she decided she just wanted to graduate. Then all that went out the window and we were going to elope before I left for BCT. But we decided not to and here we are six months later.
I feel so ghetto. Broke and getting married, somehow. Friends paying for random things, parents paying for random things, random things just showing up. This must be God's will because it is taking a large effort of people. Definately not the way I wanted it to be. I just wanted it to be me and Anne paying for everything. So much for that idea.
Of course, we had the money to pay for a wedding. Except it disappeared somewhere. I'm not really sure where that $3000 went to that I got during BCT and AIT. No idea. Seriously. I do know where $821.04 went to: Anne's ring. She deserves it.
I can't stop thinking about her. My shirt smells like her right now and it is driving me crazy. I want to call her or drive back to her house or something. I just want to be with her somehow. Our relationship is a very interesting, yet lovely one. I am very much deeply in love with her and she is very much deeply in love with me. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I love her too much.
Possible? Just might.
I'm going to be a husband in nine days. Wow. That just blows my mind away. Seems like only yesterday I was showing up for my first day in fifth grade. Or waiting on dad to pick me up from pre-school. I was going to Tiny Town, a daycare ironically just a mile or so away from where we live now. I didn't like girls and picked my nose profusely.
One time in fourth grade our teacher decided she had had enough of our talking in class. So she made up a system where we had two hats on our desk. One was the green-light hat, the other red-light. When we could talk, we would put on the green-light hat. When it was time to work, we put on the red-light. It was quite ridiculous, but it worked. I wonder if that would work for high school students...
That was the same class where we grew some kind of bean or something in a ziploc bag that sat by the window. Mine grew, but I think I just threw it away when I got home. And one time my teacher was complaining about having a bunch of bruises on her from moving some boxes. Well, I told my mom (in passing) about my teacher being beat up and having bruises. So the next day mom went to the office and asked her if she was okay. She was like, "Yeah?" Mom said that she was worried that my teacher might be in an abusive relationship. That's when we found out that she was about to marry a police officer and mom found out about the boxes. She was not too happy with me...
Nine more days and I have to shave my arm-pits.
That was the same class that I drew a picture of a tornado blowing away a house and a car and some cows. It won first place in a contest there with the teachers. I got my candy, that's all that mattered. You know, I used to be a very fat person. I was born fat, raised fat. Elementary? Fat. Middle school? Fat. High school (up until my junior year)? Fat. Then the summer between my sophomore and junior year, I went on a fast. A very long fast. I stopped eating at Falls Creek and didn't eat anymore until the next January or so. Well, I ate, but not very much. Why? Good question.
I met Haley that summer. I met her at Falls Creek. I was outside talking on the phone to my dad the night before he was going to have surgery to remove his gall bladder. When I got off the phone, I just sat there on a brick wall. Haley came up and offered me a hug because it as national hug day or something. (I had heard of it before. The summer before, I would always sit on a hill next to the Tabernacle after evening service and watch everyone walk by. Just sitting and doing nothing. One girl asked me if I needed a hug becuase it was national hug day.) So I hugged her and then we started talking. She was asking about my family and such. This was the same time taht we found out Tiff was pregnant and mom wasn't doing so hot either. We just found out she was allergic to tomatoes.
So we talked about that and she told me about her family and then she told me that she had to get back to her cabin. It was almost 10:00. (2200 for us military guys) So she gave me her email and contact stuff and I gave her mine. She was a cute ole gal. Little did I know that Anne was starting to have a crush on me. So I didn't see Haley for a few days and then I saw her like on Thursday, the day she was going to leave for a mission trip to Mexico. She was leaving camp early to go on this and I saw her at the last minute possible because then she was hopping on her van to leave. She we talked a little bit more and that was it. Thursday night it was pouring down rain and on the run to the tabernacle, I lost her email and stuff.
Of course, I didn't find this out until I got back home. So I was all worried because I don't like it when people are mad at me and even though I would never see Haley again because she lived in Bartlesville (about a three hour drive away) I posted an apology on my webpage and told her about what happened to the stuff she gave me hoping that she would read it someday. Well, the day I posted that was the day before I was going to speak at a youth rally and ironically the day she got back from Mexico. So she read it and emailed me and then she told me that she was going to come to Muskogee to see me at the youth rally. I know! Just crazy. That's Haley for ya.
So she drove down and we hung out for a little bit, but then she went back home. A few weeks later the youth group was going to OKC for a big youth rally and she wanted to go with us. So she drove down again and stayed the night here and we watched a meteor shower while drinking Brazillian soda. It was a hoot.
Yes, Anne knows about Haley. She knows that I had a very large crush on her. She also knows that I'm marrying her in nine days, not anyone else.
Nine days. Wow.
How my life has changed in the last couple of years. Heck, the last few hours. I wish I had time to sit and figure everything out. God, please help me.
God is good. All the time.
:: Ben 1:23 AM [+] ::