Chapter 10

:: Saturday, December 04, 2004 ::

When will we ever learn?

I am so much in love with Anne. Words can't begin to describe any of my feelings for her. Two weeks is all I have to say.

You would think that driving around all day doing practically nothing would be easy. It's not. I tell you what, my job sucks. I don't know if I would rather be flipping burgers or not, but my job just really isn't all that cool. Yeah, I get paid to drive a Dodge Stratus around on a government ticket, but it just gets boring. And you have to try and recruit people for the Army. I have to try and send people to the same Hell I just tried ever so hard to get out of!

Don't get me wrong; the Army is great. After training.

I have to be a people person and I feel like I'm constantly walking on ice with these recruiters because they, at any moment, can reject my orders and fire me. Being fired from a job is bad; being fired from being a recruiter, even if it is JUST an aide, is bad enough.

So I just drive on.

Early mornings, late nights. Not having any idea what to say. Overcoming the fear of meeting new people and just using my uniform to start conversations. Plus SFC Sanford looks to me as the SME (subject matter expert) on Basic training so he uses me to tell all the prospects about it. But of course he wants me to play to their personality. If they like challenges, tell them that Basic is hard. If they are shy and don't want to put up with the crap that surrounds BCT, then tell them that its easy.

It sucks either way.

What am I supposed to say?

"Um....it was a living hell if you go for that sort of thing."

Hey, some people like being yelled at and disciplined for things they didn't do. They consider it bragging rights. Screw bragging rights! I know what I went through, and I volunteered. I don't expect anyone to treat me different because I WANTED to be called a screw-up. I expect them to treat me different because my life is on the line.

My life is on the line.

Oh boy, does that ever hit home? Do soldiers ever realize what that means before their life is taken from them? We sit comfortably at home with our loved ones, but what about those guys that are dying trying to make this place better for me and you? Do we, the soldiers at home, realize what we've done? Our lives are on the line.

I tell you what, there sure is enough respect in this world, though. Everywhere I go in uniform, doors are opened, people nod their heads, kids smile. Everyone knows what it means to be a soldier; or what they like to think. Most people ignore the whole willing to die thing. They just think about the fighting, not the dying.

Next time you see a soldier, stop and think. He may die for you.

One man did die for us all. I don't care what YOU believe in, but I believe in Christ as my savior. He did die for us all. Me being a soldier, it gets almost easier to understand what he went through. Notice how I said almost. Giving up your life is one thing, but to take all the sin and anguish and evil. That's another.

Die for your country...or human nature?

Do we take advantage of what past soldiers have given us? Did you know that America lost two islands in the Pacific Ocean off the coast of Alaska during World War II? True story. What if men like you didn't step up and defend America? Where would we be now?

How about Vietnam, Korea, and the Persian Gulf. Argue all you want about whether or not we should've been there. We were, we lost soldiers, we preserved the American way. However you look at it, our freedoms are in jeopardy every day. Every minute. Every second. Someone out there could be planning another terrorist attack, an invasion, who knows? But if it weren't for those brave men that stepped up to the plate to bat for us, what would be have?

Yes, I am a soldier. I am not intending this towards me in any way. If Uncle Sam calls me up, my bags will be packed. I will go and defend what so many have fought for in the past and what so many will fight for in the future. America is a great place. Missing a few concepts, but nothing is perfect. Heaven is a great place too. But one man already did all the fighting before, is fighting now, and will be fighting for years to come.

So do I pay respects to him?

If I lost a limb or was severly wounded in Iraq and came home to people just completely disrepecting this country and myself, I would be just absolutely devastated.

God gave his only begotten son. How do we treat him?

Why fight for those that just treat you like crap? Why die for those that don't care one way or the other? Why give your life on earth for people who constantly ignore you and live their own paths?

Its one thing to die in war, another to give your life up. Surrender it to God as an offering. And how do we repay him?

Our thoughts, our actions, our friends, our music, our movies, our food, our EVERYTHING reflects God. If he is inside of us, where he should be since we are his, then we shouldn't have to worry about those things. But if you think that you shouldn't worry about those things above, then you are in worse shape than anyone can fix except God himself.

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."

But why keep sinning? Paul states in Romans that it is not he that sins, but another part of himself. Not that he has split-personalities; its just that while we "know" God, we don't "KNOW" him. We have no idea what lies in heaven, what's waiting for us. But I do know that we have to follow God every step of the way. But how?

Do I try to follow God? Good question. I'm not so sure. Why, though? Because I know what this world has to offer and it brings me joy. Takes me away. But then God is all like, "I have so much more for you just down the road."

I may be able to run five miles straight or something like that, but the race that life is is ridiculous. No way you can pass on your own. No way I'd want to.

But then why do I stray?

God is good. All the time.
Peace

:: Ben 1:08 AM [+] ::
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