:: Friday, June 09, 2006 ::
Sometimes I lay in my bunk and wonder why I am here. Why in the world am I putting my family through this. Today my wife signs the final papers on our house. We will be homeowners and I have to miss it. I won't get to live in our house for another year. I won't get to enjoy finally having a home because I chose to go play hero instead. Yeah, what a hero I am.
Its days like this, the ones where I realize that I'm not supposed to be a soldier, that make me want to plop right down in some dark corner somewhere and hope that everyone will forget about me. That everyone will pack their bags and get on the planes and fly away without me so that I can go home and live a normal life, the life I AM supposed to live. The life I miss.
But of course, where would I be without this man's Army? Where would Ann and I be? Definately not in a beautiful house where we belong. Yeah, any house can be a home, but I want my wife to enjoy the greater things in life, like having a place to call your own. Having our own lawn to mow, our own attic to cram full of stuff.
Its days like this I don't like. Days when I just want to cry. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Maybe not. In a year it will all be better, but a year is a year and a year is a long time.
I miss home.
God is good. All the time.
:: Ben 9:11 AM [+] ::