:: Tuesday, August 01, 2006 ::
KBR: a nightmare inside a nightmare
All Phillip and I were tasked to do was get a guard shack for the soldiers that have to stand out by the bazaar and watch the locals. Simple task, right?
Nothing is simple.
The LTC told our Captain to get a guard shack. Captain told Phillip and I to get a guard shack and to check at the Welcome Center first. The Welcome Center, for those of you who don't know, handle all the billeting and that is it. The Captain sent us over there to get a tarp.
Phillip: "Hi. We're here to get a tarp to build a guard shack for the guards over at the bazaar."
Phillip: "Do you have a tarp?"
SGT: "We have mattresses!"
Phillip: "Do you have a tarp?"
SGT: "We have sheets!"
Phillip: "So no tarp?"
SGT: "Oh, we don't have tarps here, we do just billeting."
Phillip: "Do you know how we can get a tarp?"
SGT: "Umm.....not really. Have a nice day!"
Phillip and I just kinda stumbled out of the office with a dumbfound look on our face of, "What in the world was that?" Discouraged by our misled Captain, we started looking for other options to get our guard shack. KBR was our next hope. So we head over to a lonely corner of the camp by the ammo place where we know some KBR guys hang out. As we walk up we see camo net on top of camo net draped all over their place. So we walk up to a guy and inquire about his ghetto rig.
Me: "Hey man, do you know how we might go about getting some camo nets like you have here?"
KBR Guy: "Well, we used all the ones we had. We have some extra tents in the back, but you'll need a contract to be able to use them."
Me: "Great. Ok....where do we get that from?"
KBR Guy: "Just go see KBR OPS. They'll cut you a contract and then you can come back and see me and we'll hook you up."
Me: "Thanks, man. I appreciate it."
So we head over to the KBR OPS place and we see another guy we know standing outside smoking. We ask him about a contract.
Phillip: "Hey man. We talked to a guy over at the shack about some tents and he said we needed to come talk to you about doing a contract."
KBR Guy: "Wait. You can't just come over here and do a contract. You have to go to the Welcome Center and fill one out there and we pick them all up there."
Me: "The Welcome Center?"
KBR Guy: "Yep."
Me: "We just came from there and that lady was no help at all. Is there anything else we can do?"
KBR Guy: "Well, you didn't hear this from me, but you can go talk to the head carpenter over at the woodshop and he might be able to hook you up."
Phillip: "Alright, we'll try there. Thanks."
So we decide to head over to the Welcome Center and fill out a work order request so we can have two work orders going at once. That way we double our chances of success. Yeah, I know, we're so gullable.
We walk into the Welcome Center and see our hater SGT.
SGT: "Hi guys, what's up?"
Me: "We just need to do a KBR work order request. Do you have any of those?"
SGT: "Yeah, we have plenty, why?"
Me: "Can we have one?"
SGT: "Sure, they're on the wall next to you."
So Phillip and I look over the form. Its pretty simple, but requires an E-7 or higher signature and complex drawings / description of what needs to be done. So Phillip and I stare at the form and try to mock Mac's signature on another piece of paper and decide we should try the legit route.
As we head out the Welcome Center, we figure we might as well talk to the carpenter guy and see what he has to say. We walk up to the wood shop and ask the for the guy.
KBR Guy: "Yeah, this is he."
Phillip: "Hey man, we need something done and we need to know if you can help..."
Me: "Hey, we're from the SECFOR. Do you think its possible to make a guard shack for our guys out here at the bazaar so they don't have to stand in the sun. All we need is a shack, nothing big."
KBR Guy: "Yeah, we can do that. We can do anything."
Me: "Are we gonna need a tent?"
KBR Guy: "Nah, dude, we'll make the whole thing ... you just need a work order and we'll get started."
Phillip starts laughing.
Me: "Where do we get one from?"
KBR Guy: "Well, you can go to the Welcome ..."
Me: "Been there. Please say there's somewhere else."
KBR Guy: "There's the ACO. You can go talk to her. She's over in the KBR HQ area, second row, upstairs."
KBR Guy: "I'll have my guys get started on this. If anyone asks, you made it on your own though."
Me: "Thanks, man, we appreciate it."
So Phillip and I head over to the ACO office and she is busy. So we wait outside, on the second floor deck. Oh, it was an amazing view. I got to see past the HESCO wall and out to the village. It was pretty cool. While we were waiting, this captain in the Air Force walks up and asks what we're doing.
CPT: "What you guys up to?"
Me: "Waiting on the ACO."
CPT: "Oh, you got a request?"
Me: "Yeah" (hands it to him)
CPT: (laughing) "She's gonna wad this up and throw it away. You don't have any drawings or a plan or anything. She'll like this."
Me: "Thanks, man."
CPT: "No problem." (walks into his office laughing)
So the ACO office frees up and we walk in there.
ACO: "What can I do for you?"
Phillip: "We were going to turn this in, but apparently that's a bad idea." (hands her the paper)
ACO: "Yeah, that's a bad idea." (laughing) "Ok, to get this done you're gonna have to talk to the Welcome Center (Phillip and I sigh) OR you can go talk to the CCR office down the stairs."
Me: "Anything else? Anything easier?"
ACO: "Well, actually you'll have to build this yourself now that I think about it. Just go to the Self Help section and start building."
Me: "We don't have enough time."
ACO: "Is three months enough time?"
ACO: "That's how long it will take us. Now, you might be able to talk to Mr. Meyers, he's the MWR guy. He might be able to help you."
Me: "Where can we find him?"
ACO: "I don't know. The CPT next door might know."
So we head next door and ask that ole boy where we can find this Mr. Meyes, MWR type. He tells us the gym. The gym. We're now going to the gym for a guard shack. Ridiculous. Welcome to the Army.
MWR Guy: (laughing) "I can't help you with this!!! You'll have to see the labor department."
Me: "Where is that?"
MWR Guy: "Its an area by the ammo place with a bunch of camo nets on top of it."
So here we are, three days later. Any guard shack built? I don't know. We have to go check tomorrow. If not, guess Phillip and I will have to get out our carpentry masks.
Once again, Mac succeeded in sending me on another fine adventure.
God is good. All the time.
:: Ben 12:34 AM [+] ::