Chapter 10

:: Monday, December 15, 2003 ::

I got to hit something. She started it. Anne and I got in a fight today. Not mean, it was just for fun. She slapped me, I slapped her, she bit me, and it continued. We wrestle quite often. It lets a lot of frustration out.

I went to her house after school today knowing that she was going to be late, but I didn't expect an hour. So I sat in a polish smelling house waiting. I decided to do homework, but there wasn't much to study. It happens. Then Anne came home and we sat on her porch and talked a bit. Actually she talked and made weird noises and just listened. I wasn't in the mood for talking and she could tell. She did it all. Usually I do, it happens.

If only I could be around her forever. Some day, maybe. She didn't want me to leave, but I had to come back home. Then I called her tonight and she called me back because she was busy and we talked for a bit and I was like, "Well, I'll let you go because you probably have things to do," (usually she does, usually she has a preset time she wants to be in bed) but she just said, "No, that's okay. I don't want to stop talking."

Its the small things that excite me. I know, I'm easy. If only I could be with Anne or with God. Mainly with God. Then I wouldn't have this whole sin thing bearing me down. Man, I hate sin. Stupid thing.

But God is good and he hears me cry out to him, constantly, because I'm constantly sinning. What can I say? I'm human. I know, I still should try not to, and I do, but its overpowering sometimes. Especially if you are mentally weak. Ah, forget it. Its sin. Its over. And its always there. No excuses. Am I explaining this to you people? Do I have to?

I know God hears me, but does he ever get tired of my constant whining and sinning. Nope. He hasn't yet and probably won't ever will.

God, hear me. Listen.

God is good. All the time.
Peace

:: Ben 11:28 PM [+] ::
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