:: Monday, March 17, 2008 ::

Swipe again this turnstile

Occasionally at the subway turnstile you have to swipe your Metrocard twice (or on the rare chance three times) to be charged and allowed on the subway. I have no idea why they do this. At first I thought it was because you swiped too fast, but when that happens it says "Too fast-swipe again." Then I thought it was because you were out of funds, but when that happens it says "Insufficient fare."

Tonight I didn't swipe too fast and I had plenty on Metrocard, but my manhood suffered from this phenomenon I now call "Hold YOUR train." I think the MTA New York City Subway station agents have control of a button that turns this feature on and they get quite a laugh when somebody is in a hurry and misses their train due to the required double-swipe. I bet they videotape it and watch all the best episodes at the annual station agent convention at the Javits.

Well, should anyone from this "club" be reading my blog, you will be seeing me perform the "dashing commuter crams manhood into turnstile" act this year. Let me know how it turns out.

Late nights in New York City are far from boring as the city lights up even more since the suits are off work, but the subway still decides to run on a skeleton schedule from 11 pm to 5 am. This means trains are few and far between and a wait time of 20 minutes or greater is nothing out of the ordinary. So when I walked down the stairwell at the 77th and Lex Downtown 456 station and saw my 6 train perched, doors open, waiting for me to hop aboard, I wasn't about to spare any energy in my attempt to catch it.

I'm sure you can see where this is going. I actually thought ahead and while I was crossing Lex Ave I pulled out my Metrocard so I was ready regardless of train or not. Metrocard in hand, I leaped down the last four stairs (no, dad, there wasn't a door jam in the way this time) and sprinted to the turnstile. I even remembered the double-swipe trick so I slowed my hand to the proper pace and slid my card through the reader; however, that station agent saw his chance and pushed that button.

I'm sure the train conductor, who was directly in front of me, got a nice laugh as my torso slammed into the bar, my eyes popped out of my head, and my face turned a slight shade of green with a more than slight frown. I even blurted out an "Ugh" like you see in the cartoons. It took a second for everything to sink in and me to realize my chances of catching the train were dwindling fast.

After a slight panic I swiped again just to see "Swipe again this turnstile" and the conductor sigh as he knew he couldn't leave me after such a valiant effort to catch his train. Well, I'm sure that really wasn't his thought as he counted down the required seconds left til he could close the doors and continue his night.

My triple-swipe scored the prize and after leaping down the remaining 10 steps, I stumbled into the train, doors closing behind me, claiming a slight victory over the MTA New York City subway. I know we'll meet again, though.

That was the excitement of my day. That and talking to my mother for 10 minutes or so and wishing my 27 year old sister happy birthday. It hasn't been a bad day; I'd venture to say good day, except the fact I haven't talked to my wife at all today and lately we have been talking often. Her not emailing means a few things, and none of them are good.

I'll just think happy thoughts for now.

I even got to talk to the amazing 14th St Union Square two-man band tonight. They were packing up their stuff, but I managed to get them the $20 I owed them (out of my allowance) and scored one of their CDs. I'll rip the tunes to my computer and send the CD on to my friends in Oklahoma for your listening pleasure. I'm sure these guys won't mind. I gave them twice what they were asking and they want people to hear their music. Right?

Legalities are so rough these days.

Anyway, Church Ave is here so I must depart and walk which I don't want to complicate by trying to type. Much love to mi familia and mi amigos back in Oklahoma and scattered around the world (kissie kissie sweet love).

God is good. All the time.
Peace

P.s. This post brought to you while waiting at the 14th St Union Square Downtown NQRW platform and riding the Brooklyn / Coney Island Q train of the even more infamous MTA New York City subway.

:: Ben 6:46 AM [+] ::
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